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april.seventh.
a picture is truly worth a thousand word. a thousand, pornographic words.
april.seventh.
lets get this over with so i can take a nap.
ive been feeling a little solitary lately..due to my playing catchup just now and have decided that next year i lack of involvement in school (sigh), everyone is quite a bit busier than i. however that will soon be mended, im will return to the good ol' mount of a. i like it here. furthermore, i like being in school. i dont want to work and live in some low class apartment in a city where no one knows me. in retrospect, im not sure what made that plan seem so keen in the first place.
the last few days have been a little disheartening. there are a few people leaving that i will be bitterly sorry to say goodbye to. classes end in two days. im not sure what to do with myself.
i was in the argosy last week. im so excited ill mention it twice. there was a campus party last nite. i was there for a while..my thoughts were on something(one) else. it was cold, anyway.
march.twentyone.
this will be slightly erratic, as i havent updated in a while.
i spent a week in montreal, met some fantastic people. it was interesting, all of them were so completely different..but i found them all so easy to get along with. i had a grand time with them, riding about on the metro, climbing mountains, eating peanut butter and bacon sandwiches..*smile* the trip put me in debt, but otherwise it was great, and that will soon be taken care of.
my little brother comes home for a visit next week. itll be the first time hes been home in at least two years, to my recollection. im not sure what to expect. im hoping things will run smoothly, though im not entirely sure.
im anxious for the schoolyear to end. its a struggle. im not fond of it here, and want to begin working on what im passionate about. im counting the days until summer begins.
i hate mash.
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take a minute to go to the site linked by the pink girl sketch, theres some nice artwork there. im quite partial to it, though i wish that it were updated now and then.
(note: assuming its showing up, that silly little face above is my imood. now the world can be constantly aware of my state of emotions through the convinience of a small and ridiculous icon. the wonders of technology.)
feb.twentythird.
ive been drinking too much. my tolerance has shot up. im going to stop for a while..im spending far too much money on it, anyway. its beginning to worry me. my mother told me once that addictive personalities run in our family.
im ridiculously ill. i might have strep throat or something of the like, as well as a nasty cold. im sore. anyone who wants to come give me a massage, please call. well make an arrangement of some sort. ill shortly head for the hottub, which is easily the best thing about staying at my parents house (for spring break).
i bought a guitar, an acoustic one, of course. im quite enthusiastic about it. perhaps ill even be decent eventually. i officially now want a harmonica more than any other material posession on earth. send me a harmonica and i will be forever in your debt. ive heard you can make people do some interesting things when in your debt. not that im insinuating anything.
i think i need to lose weight.
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the vagina monologues went well opening nite. tonite we perform again, and tomorrow. if youre in the area, come see it, all the proceeds go to womens charity. its a fantastic show, im lucky to be working with so many talented females (and male). the topics weve discussed have really opened my eyes to just how violent life often is for females. for information on vday, check my "pay attention" page (please). for information on the monologues, try the link below.
check my journal for goingsons (second link below). im too tired at present to write anything of importance. my life has consisted of little more than alcohol, rehersals and confused romantic misconceptions. thrilling, i know.
vaginamonologues.com. ...
i had this on the mainpage for valentines day, and decided it amused me far too much not to keep it here somewhere. kudos to you, robert.
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+yeah baby, its time for some jazz and sex, oh yeah.
*jazz and sex....thats a pretty appealing concept. hmm.
+i'm just trying to be like barry white. I beleive for
sex, hot jazz would be required, but jazz would be alright
for foreplay.
*sex to acid jazz..that would be freaky.
+it would be all over the fucking place. on the kitchen
table, in the kitchen cupboards, in the linen closet, on
the fishtank, over the toilet, on top of a milk crate,
everywhere and at a feverish pace.
*well done. ineresting choices.
+thats right, in the laundry hamper, fucking all over the
place.
*i think i need a better hamper though..
+oh, it needs to be strong to withstand acid jazz sex.
under a blue tarp
on a pile of suede coats
on the stairs
under the stairs
in the tool shed
in the deep freeze
on the deep freeze
tied up with USB cables
wearing a pillowcase.
*what about the bathtub? you left out the bathtub.
+well thats not even strange
*well you took all the good ones!
+i am sexually creative i guess.
*you get a gold star.
+i am trying to think of more.
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feb.thirteenth.
yes, ladies and gentleman, i am 62% slut. its offical.
tomorrow is valentines day. no one has opted in on the mellon collie offer (see below)...alas, i am undesirable.
i write little on here now, as i have a journal. if you for some reason are actually interested in what i have to say, read it. you can find it here.
melannie.scribble.nu for the most part, ill write the marjority of my ramblings there. i have a midterm tomorrow. ive now put off studying for a good three hours. i think im making excellent progress. i also think ill fail school. im a little concerned that i dont care much. but only a little. im disillusioned with university. i want to get out of here, find some action. im restless. 
since i have no valentine, i have decided i will donate my adoration (in full) to the first boy to play "mellon collie and the infinate sadness" for me on the piano. i cook and clean, am very social and am basically up for anything at anytime (adventures, romantic endeavors, sexual exploits..).
i think id be a reasonable mate. my contacts are on the find me page. you have to play it well.
feb.eleven.
i go through these phases sometimes.
my spirits are falling by the day. i dont really know why i let myself do this,
it happens every now and then. its little more than nonsense.
i woke up this morning and felt so lonely, i cried. i hate being by myself sometimes.
i feel as though everything is happening..well, not quite in slow motion, but as though
the speed was turned down several notches. today is a strange day. 
i have a friend who is particularly dear to me. for some reason, he seems to constanly show up in my bad dreams. i dreamt we were sledding by the lake at my school (mount allison university), and i slid (hmm..that doesnt sound right) onto the water and fell through. he rushed down and pulled me out..i was completely white, even my eyes had no irises. i think that image was from a film i saw once. he was so horrified that he didnt move, so he sat there in the show while i was presumedly dying. thats all i can remember.
i was reading some entries in an online journal he writes in (this friend of mine), and noted that in his opinion, the phrase "shove it with walnuts, ugly" it not used nearly often enough. i urge the public to use this phrase whenever possible.
on a positive note, i discovered my favorite chair in history today. the east lounge of the university centre has a worn, green chair in which i sit for vagina monologues rehersals. if only i could somehow steal it..or perhaps ill move into the east lounge.
i think im going to buy a guitar. 
... feb.ten.
the weekend was mediocre, with the exception of an amazing performance by hayden at the rebecca cohn auditorium. ill look for a review, but in the meantime do check out his site.
hardwoodrecords.com hayden put on a great show. i wont miss another one. highly recommended to the public. i was also delighted to discover he sold underwear, a pair of which, of course, i bought.
my weekend was otherwise little more than a mess of confused plans.
i went to see someone id met briefly before, but decided at the last moment not to approach them. im not sure why..i suppose i felt i would be no more than a nuissance, which might have something to do with my intense frustration with myself at present. i grow so, so very tired of the character that people assume me to play. im nineteen and still a little girl. ill probably be one forever. i grow progressively more disgusted with being referred to as "cute". i feel as though im trapped in a film, with no escape from a typecast i completely resent. im in a bit of a foul mood at present. i suppose writing any further would only give way to rants. rants would be too long. im going to change. its freezing in here.
... feb.oh.seven.
the high from last weekends exploits is wearing off. i impatiently count the hours until i leave for halifax. i crave adventure, and will seek it there, in one form or another. last weekend was not the usual fare for me..much was experienced. my life is normally quite dull, though i didnt realize this before. i now question myself..desire change. i think ill alter my methods.
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sean (see "pay attention", coincidentally) gave me a shoutout on the das radio site. i was enthralled. this is my shoutout to you, sean. youre the best person i know. never change.
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i had one or two random encounters with members of the opposite sex this weekend. being charmed as such had an odd effect on me. i came home and promptly purchased a dress. i suppose now i must find a place to wear it..
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more signifigant (depending on ones definition of the word, i suppose) material will soon be placed here. i only write this for the sake of making my site at least relatively presentable. when the mood strikes me, this semiblank page will be filled with melancholy tagents. im sure the mood will strike me soon. im tired, and must turn off my lights and undress. 
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